Requiem for crappy phones

By Camy Roch

Some have said recently that despite the new technology inventions, crappy shitty phones remained a safe bet. Some have even argued that smartphones were some kind of a plague. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here! I admit that the antiques we used during the last decade were kinda funny. Indeed I had a great time playing Snake on my old 3330. Nevertheless, time has come to put those memories far far away behind you and to look at the bright future. So here they are, my personal top five reasons why to get yourself a smartphone:

phone_evolution

1.   You never gonna get bored

Waiting for the bus, bah. Long ride in the train, easy. Endless seminar, whatever. Having to cope with that friend of yours whose always late, nevermind. The coolest part of having a smartphone is that you’ll never get bored. There is always something to do, to play, to check or to update. We all at some point of our live, come to the conclusion of “Damn, I’m losing my time there…” Well, there comes one of the main advantages of those devices. You still lose your time, let’s be honest. But less.

2.     It’s healthily clever

A good friend of mine used to say: “my smartphone is like half of my brain”. In the case of that person, I reckon it was kind of true. But isn’t it awesome to have access instantaneously to almost all the answers to questions you never even imagined? No more endless conversations about the year of release of this movie that no one has seen. Just grab your smartphone and find it out. Even better, play it smooth and check the desired answer without anyone noticing. Then proudly brag about the fact that of course, you knew!

3.     It can get you out of uncomfortable situations

This is the reason that will convince you for good that your smartphone is a hell of an ally. I recently experienced being stuck in the middle of the conversation where people spoke a language that unfortunately I didn’t. Politeness rules would imply you to be included in the conversation. But politeness rules might not always be applied. You may as well be left over, and this is exactly where and when, you gonna play merrily your smartphone card! Even more frequent situation: the moron sitting next to you, is hoping to share some trauma he experienced in his childhood. In brief: you don’t care. So just chill out, sit back, take your phone, put the business-face on and pretext some important emails. He’ll eventually leave, without the feeling of having been directly turned down. For this technique to work, make sure to have no window or mirror behind your back. The intruder might be not particularly happy to see you racing or playing Candy Crush in the meanwhile.

4.     It affects curiosity for the digital world

Here I would like to make the distinction between two kinds of people. First, those individuals, let’s call them individuals A. Individuals A are usually those who ask for the time and start panicking as soon as you tell them to check on your device. Individuals A grab the phone – generally with two fingers to protect themselves from a hypothetical bad burn – and look at you full of interrogations. What is that? What shall I do? Is it gonna explode? On the other hand, you have individuals B. Individuals B are the brave ones, the technology-friendly. Thanks to life experience, or simply common sense, they know that smartphones’ buttons do not generally function as detonator. They know how to use such devices, and if they don’t, they’re not afraid of give it a try.

(If you happen to be not sure in which categories classify some of your friends, I suggest that you conduct the following test. Once the smartphone is in the hands of the indeterminate person, simply tell them to press the button. If they reply “which one?” For sure those are individuals A.)

5.     If real is better than digital, digital’s still kinda cool

The argument speaks for itself, no? Difficult to deny that technology did not represent a great step for all of us. Plus it’s funny. And since it is now kind of impossible to avoid, you’d better start taming it for your own sake and independence.

2 thoughts on “Requiem for crappy phones

  1. Pingback: Lists, the news of the future? | We should name this soon

  2. Pingback: Plugged in – are we becoming too dependent on our beloved technology? | We should name this soon

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