So ladies, would you pay for sex?

by Hannah Wallace Bowman

Small boobs, big boobs, blonde ones and leather thongs: it’s Saturday evening in Amsterdam’s red light district and the women in the windows are open for business. Potential clients meander through the canal-lined streets, perusing the veritable candy-shop of sexual delight on offer, the air thick with a heady combination of testosterone and beer.

Foto: Mathieu Milot

Foto: Mathieu Milot

If you are bloke who fancies tucking into threesome, or partaking in a light bondage-style bonk, you can pretty much get anything your heart desires within a kilometer radius of the city’s Dam Square. Indeed, as long as you are male and don’t mind paying for “it”, most demands are catered for, no matter what your sexual preference.

If you don’t have a penis, however, the options become somewhat more limited; there are women for men, men for men and women for women, but finding a straight male gigalo? Think again.

Discussing this issue with female friends seemed to yield conclusive results as to this might be the case: paying for sex it seems is simply not high on our agenda. Some said it was because they would find no pleasure in “doing it” with a complete stranger, for others, it was about there not being a necessity to pay. Indeed, as one girl mate not so subtly articulated it: “even if you are horny and single, it is still pretty easy to get a shag for free”.

So explain this: when, for one day only, a sex shop for women to come and have sex with men was opened in Amsterdam, it was a phenomenal success? So much so, that within the space of a just a few hours, the project was closed down by the police due to overcrowding on the street outside. In the short period it was open, the brothel received nine female clients.

After a short foray online, it became clear that this example of women willing to pay for sex perhaps cannot simply be dismissed as an anomaly.


Post in forum of online magazine

From the popular escort agency “Cowboys4Angels” in the US, all the way to China, where the phenomenon of women hiring men termed as yazis or “ducks” for an evening of chatting and squelchy stuff, the demand for male prostitutes is burgeoning.

In general, however, there remains a reluctance to consider the possibility that some women want to enjoy hassle-free “good” sex with a stranger. Or if we do dare to consider that possibility, it can only be because that woman is incredibly ugly or very lonely.

Now, while I am not an advocate of anybody selling sex for money, I also recognize there to be a certain irony in our stigmatization of this issue.

Every day we are bombarded by images of scantily clad icons of the entertainment industry, apparently so overwhelmed by their own sexuality that being induced to orgasm by contact with inanimate objects is all part of a days work (yes Miley, yes Rihanna, I’m looking at you). Although these so-called artists set a highly dangerous precedent, considering the effect they have in conditioning the way their young audiences perceive sexuality to look like, they are idolized by popular culture.

Meanwhile, to acknowledge female desire as genuine and existing outside of a two-dimensional simulation designed to sell records, is when sex suddenly becomes too much for our fragile sensibilities to handle.


2 thoughts on “So ladies, would you pay for sex?

  1. hi, I think lots of women pay for sex, it just happens less, and manifests much less in-your-face than the red light stuff, so it seems like not so much a social “issue” one might be aghast about over ones cornflakes of a morning. I think the root of it boils down to something like an overall, generally slightly different stigma to being on sale for, and paying for, sex, between the genders. -and its worth bearing mind that this works both ways: as women tend to be just that small bit less inclined admit that they are not getting what want and would consider resorting to paying, men are just that bit less inclined to admit they are so desperate for money they will sell themselves (and on a side point have less to sell anyway)

    reagrdless, its still happening, a lot, along much of the african coast, in jamaica, pretty much most places with a gentrified beach, there are loads of gruesome 55yo women strutting along with young, chiselled guys who they are paying for sex, the only difference being the format, the mating dance, happens a bit differently and under different pretences, a bit more dressed up if you will..

    but despite this general tendancy there are still all the jiggalos and window lickers apparently, I know this from a (mental) dutch woman who laments leaving the ‘dam and its all its rent-a-gents -so there, its out there – just a bit better concealed so we can all be ok with it.and not have to deal with the fact that there are terminally broke men and (heaven forbid) terminally frustrated women out there making “it” happen in the shadows

  2. Really interesting post. I read somewhere (I think it was the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts) that men and women consume internet prone at fairly similar rates (surprisingly) but paid sites are almost exclusively subscribed to by men. The rationale given was that women are, evolutionarily, more practical and, while they seek sexual pleasure at rates similar to men, it is illogical for them to pay for it.

Speak that beautiful mind of yours!

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